Dear...

This is hard. I never really believed watching you die would be this hard. The older you got the less I figured it would hurt; you're almost 90 years old, I think I always assumed that if you got to be that old, passing on would be acceptable. Maybe it's because I mourned with so many people through the years, offering them what I thought would comfort them, that I never stopped to think how deep the hurt really goes. Or maybe it's because I know you've never quite forgiven me for walking away from the priesthood. I never wanted to be a disappointment to you, but I also never took the chance to try to explain it to you.

I'm 50 years old now, but I still care what you think. For years I've wanted to tell you that I didn't just get tired of it, and I didn't leave because of some woman. I was 12 years old when decided I wanted to be a priest and I could never get out of it. I don't blame you or mom, but my voice hadn't even changed and I was suddenly off to a seminary based school, stapled into the education that would make sure I eventually became the priest you always wanted.

I was too young to make that choice. The church doesn't even allow that now, did you know that? You have to have a bachelor's degree before you can enter a seminary now.

But the point is that I'm sorry you were so hurt when I realized I needed to walk away from a vocation I never really had. It wasn't a woman, even though I married not too long after. It wasn't about sex. It wasn't a crisis of faith. I simply reached the point where I knew I was doing something that wasn't in anyone's best interests. Not mine, not the church's, not the parishioners. If I had stayed I would have done more harm that good. If I had stayed I would have eventually lost my faith, and I probably would have taken others with me.

I know God forgives me. I don't care if the church does or not. But I do care if it still hurts you, and I need to you wake up so that I can tell you that. I need to be able to tell you that I know I made the right choice, and I know it was right because you raised me to act with honor and honesty, and staying in the priesthood was neither. If you could wake up just long enough for me to apologize for the pain I caused, and for me to tell you I love you, maybe the hurt won't run so deep. And maybe you'd finally be okay with me.

Realistically I know I won't ever get the chance to say any of this to you. I just hope you know it. Not just know it, but KNOW it.

Love
Your youngest son

I know your job is hard. I know it's not easy to maneuver that big ole bus through the narrow streets of San Francisco. I know you must deal with the unwashed masses, crazy people, drunks and rude teenagers.

But what you did the on Tuesday was Just. Too. Much.

While I idled quietly behind you at the stop sign, you turned left onto a small cross street. I dunno. Maybe the shiny red sign distracted you. Maybe the planets were out of alignment. Maybe you are on crack.

You came THISCLOSE to running down a woman and her dog in the crosswalk! In broad daylight.

And, when she had the temerity to turn and say something to you (I don't know what--maybe "Look where you're going, Sir"; maybe "Are you blind, motherf---er?"), you threw a full, venti-size cup of Starbuck's at her!!!

It is time for you to get another job. One that does not involve driving several tons of lethal metal through our neighborhoods.

Thank you.

One who shares the road with you, very carefully

Thanks for sticking with this; hopefully this template will stick, and people will like it--and that submissions will pick up again.

I apologize for how long it took me to get it together and fix this site; no excuses, I just didn't get on it as soon as I should have.

Following are two submissions; one I recently received, the other was sitting in a spam folder. If you sent a letter and it's not here, please resend.

Thanks,
Thumper

I know you're pissed off at being convicted of driving drunk for the fourth time. I know you're really furious at the Judge who sentenced you to lose your license because, aside from the embarrassment even, you need to drive to get to work. I know you may lose your house because of this, along with what little is left of your sanity. But I also know that you chose to get in your vehicle and drive drunk at least four times. I can figure from the litter of beer cans in your front yard that seems in danger of turning the neighborhood into a scrapheap, that you probably did it more than four times. I can live with the scrapheap, though. I can live with you losing your job and your house and your sanity. What I can't live with is you running possibly over the other neighbor's kid one night when you come home driving drunk. So I'm just hoping that the next time you get behind the wheel drunk, in spite of your suspended license, you drive yourself into a wall and rid us all of the hazard.

Sincerely,
Your Sober Neighbor

I sincerely appreciate you letting me live here...the $400 per month I pay for rent that includes Internet and emergency phone and heat is really nice since I'm less that a 45 min bus trip to school.

However, STAY OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!

Just because I am only renting a room and there isn't a lock on the door and I am gone out of town every weekend doesn't entitle you to the rights to spray my room with air-freshener and vacuum, to enter to look at my stuff, go through my mail, sit at my computer and try to get it to turn on, to look at my fish tank, to oggle at the Asian decor I have framed and push pinned to the wall or to look at my books... (and yes I know you did because my computer monitor is turned on and my stuff has been moved, changed, and rearranged)

A closed door means just that, stay out its my private room. I told you "if I am home and my door is open please feel free to come in" " If my door is closed it doesn't matter if I am home or not, stay out"

(and a closed door doesn't mean I am angry with you or mad, its just means I want privacy and I don't want to hear you conversations in the other room, or your televisions while I am typing up financial reports and terms and conditions for my financial writing job, or writing discussions on female hygiene, or writing up advice on relationships for my relationship advising job, or maybe I am even doing some medical transcription, a closed door just means I don't want to be interrupted while I am working or studying!!)

Its not that I have really anything to hide, except maybe my bloody underwear or dirty laundry I might have left on the floor, or maybe I left some copyrighted documents face-down on my desk that I could get fired if my on-line boss knew anyone but me saw them. Or maybe you might see the hefty bill I owe to my credit card for the time I was in the hospital or recovering from a car accident and had no medical insurance.

The simple fact is, I like privacy, and I like to go out with my friends on Saturday and do my grocery shopping and community service and then stay over night and go to church and cook my friends a nice dinner and maybe watch a movie and know that I can leave my stuff out in my room without people rummaging through it.

This is my room, I water my plants, and fish, and vacuum my floors and dust every Wednesday while nobody is home...So you don't need to come in and go through my stuff and re-clean my room on the weekends while I am gone...

Please don't make me wish I stayed homeless this summer, Please don't make me move....But I will move and leave this place, and you won't get your rent money if I cannot get some privacy. (and you wont get such a quiet and respectful and reserved, well mannered roommate)

Aside from the afore mentioned reasons entering my room without prior notice or express permission from me is a violation of renters law...even though we don't have a contract.

Please be courteous and stay out of my room. I don't go into your room for any reason unless you are in there and the door is open and I have knocked and I need to talk to you. I just don't go in there while you are not there. So please stay out....

Please give me this respect....

You also swore up and down when I rented this place that you would never have guys sleep here over night and that you would never rent from a male of any kind. And the day I moved in I found out you moved a guy in on the 1st level and that you ex-husband spends entire months here......This means that I am on the verge of getting ousted from my religion for living with a man I am not married to or related to...thanks! My marriageability is now down to zero and I run the risk of being shunned! My reputation is destroyed, my good name as a chaste female in my 20's is completely ruined.

I cant afford to move right now, and I don't have a place lined up to move to anyway....I don't have a vehicle to move with and plus I am going to college 40 hours per week and working 40 hours per week....This late night partying with guys over is stressful! You are in your 50's! Grow Up!

And please quit eating my food without asking...its rude!

BTW: I will be putting a door lock on as soon as I pay this months bills....I didn't want to, but you have forced me to........and don't try to break in, you wont be able.


Sincerely,

Your 3rd level roommate who like her privacy and who you swore to "I would never do that"

(stay out of my room, stay out of my food, and quit lying to me)

I still haven't figured out how to fix the old template, which I quite liked. I'll keep poking at it, until then I dug up a temporary template...

The stagnation of new posts, however, I can't control. No submission, no new posts.

Unless y'all want me to start making chit up... ;)