Dear...

While I appreciate that you like my boyfriend- and I obviously agree that he's amazing- don't you think that fanclubs are a little bit over the top? And the seriously disturbing fanfictions as well? Don't think he hasn't noticed how you feel. He's uncomfortable with your obsession in the first place, and then you make your sexual fantasies public? Not only that but you make sure that he reads some of them? How do you think it makes him feel to read those lies about himself? He'll feel like a failure for not measuring up to expectations. Because honestly, nobody is as perfect in every way as people of our fantasies are. That's only human. And guess what? You'll never have a chance with anyone, going about it the way you are. You want to know how I got to go out with him? I was a friend. I listened, I talked, I joked, I teased, I lent stuff, I borrowed stuff, I treated him as an equal. We enjoyed each other's company. He was my best friend, so finding out that he wanted to be more than friends was a pleasant surprise. Please go annoy someone else and stay away from MY boyfriend.

-Your "celebrity crush" 's very annoyed girlfriend