Dear...

While I appreciate that you like my boyfriend- and I obviously agree that he's amazing- don't you think that fanclubs are a little bit over the top? And the seriously disturbing fanfictions as well? Don't think he hasn't noticed how you feel. He's uncomfortable with your obsession in the first place, and then you make your sexual fantasies public? Not only that but you make sure that he reads some of them? How do you think it makes him feel to read those lies about himself? He'll feel like a failure for not measuring up to expectations. Because honestly, nobody is as perfect in every way as people of our fantasies are. That's only human. And guess what? You'll never have a chance with anyone, going about it the way you are. You want to know how I got to go out with him? I was a friend. I listened, I talked, I joked, I teased, I lent stuff, I borrowed stuff, I treated him as an equal. We enjoyed each other's company. He was my best friend, so finding out that he wanted to be more than friends was a pleasant surprise. Please go annoy someone else and stay away from MY boyfriend.

-Your "celebrity crush" 's very annoyed girlfriend

Quit worrying about how to define me. It doesn't matter if you think of me as "the black lady in the left cubicle" or "that African American woman over there." It's semantics. But really, if you have to refer to me as anything, my name is Alicia.

Look, mental handicaps don't count when it comes to the handicap stalls in the restroom. It's not there for you to change clothes in, it's there for people with access problems. People like me. I did not appreciate the twenty minutes it took you to hog the only accessible stall, since it was obvious you were changing clothes in there. People can see under the edge of the stall you know. Shoes going off, pants, and shirts and stuff.

If this restroom only had two stalls, I would understand because maybe when you got there the other one was occupied and you really had to go. But there were four stalls and the odds that you would have had to wait more than a minute to get into one are pretty slim. This place just doesn't have a lot of restroom traffic.

Handicapped stalls are not a public convenience, they're a necessity for an admittedly small part of the population. To use one when you don't have to is rude and says a lot about your personal character.

And I'm not saying I'm any better than you. Hell, I'm the one who went and got the manager who was waiting for you when you finally got out. I'm petty sometimes but when it comes right down to it I don't have a choice. I can't get a wheelchair into a regular stall. You had a choice and you made the wrong one.

Signed,
Still Wheely, Wheely Mad

Please quit...

• ...bitching about the people who are posting about Blog Her. So you didn't go. You didn't want to go/couldn't afford to go/felt like you wouldn't belong/whatever. Get over it. Hell, I didn't go. No clue what it was until it was over. But bitching about the people who went, and the things they did, the friends they met and the enemies they avoided--man, you just sound petty. If it's not your thing, fine, but don't berate those who enjoy stuff like that. If you felt like you wouldn't belong, that's fine, but it's not anyone's problem other than yours, the same as those who couldn't afford to go yet somehow seemed to expect other people to pool cash together to get them there. I'd like to do a whole lot of things that I can't afford, including seeing family I haven't seen in nearly a decade, but I sure as hell don't expect anyone else to pay for it.


• ...taking potshots at the "popular" bloggers. Yeah, 99% of us will never have their traffic, we'll never have the several hundred comments a day they get, and we'll never be on CNN. So? If you got into blogging thinking you'd get rich and famous, you got into the wrong thing.


• ...acting like the blogosphere owes you something. Sure, a lot of bloggers are getting free stuff from companies. So? Did you start doing this for the freebies? Even the people getting the free stuff aren't going to get it forever, and most of what they're getting is kind of crappy. So why get so bent about it?


• ...complaining because cancer or MS or whatever is getting more sympathy from other bloggers than your diabetes or chronic pain. People sympathize with things they can relate to. It's not personal. Perhaps you'd get more sympathy if you offered it in turn. Funny, the people I see complaining the most don't seem to be offering anything to the bloggers they're complaining about.


• ...making fun of blog genres you don't "get." I don't enjoy politics; I find it boring and not worth the time to poke through the endless political opinion blogs. But that doesn't mean they don't have a place. I don't have kids so I can't really relate to a lot of Mommy blogs, but thousands of parents out there can. If you don't like a blog, stay away from it, it's that easy.

I swear to God, it's like the entire blog arena is infested with twisted shorts these days. Just be nice. That's all. Be nice.

Sincerely,
Lurking On A Whole Lot Of Bloggage